Happy National Potato Day! The choices a person makes can say a lot about them. And with all the different ways potatoes can be prepared, they’re no exception. Or at least I hope so, since it’s the only thing that keeps the listicle industry running.
- French Fries- You know what you want, and you’re not gonna wait to get it (There’s probably some commentary about America’s obsession with instant gratification, but that’s something for another day). Or, you love dipping sauces and are looking for anything to dip in them.
- Curly Fries- Your favorite restaurant is Arby’s. Weird flex but ok.
- Sweet Potato Fries- You love lying to yourself, specifically when it comes to things like “oh, it’s healthy, I’m being good.” Sshhhhhh, it’s fries, it’s ok. Live a little.
- Poutine- You’re trendy, and have your finger on the pulse of the potato appetizer world. Or, you know that, health-wise, the damage has been done, so you might as well put some gravy on that.
- Baked Potato- You’re mainly looking for a vehicle for cheese, bacon and sour cream. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
- Baked Sweet Potato- Or, you’re looking for an excuse to eat marshmallows for dinner. There’s probably something wrong with that.
- Mashed Potatoes- Assuming you have a healthy relationship with your family, your favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Also, ditto for my earlier gravy comment.
- Potato Salad- You’re from the Midwest. I’m doing my best to not be judgemental, but really, if your favorite style of potato is “cold, and covered in mayonnaise,” I just don’t get it.
- Boiled Potatoes- You’re bland. Or you’re from Syracuse, where boiled potatoes with a ton of salt and butter is considered a delicacy, because we’re bland.
- Roasted Potatoes- You’re low-maintenance, just cut em up and throw them in the oven. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
- Hasselback Potatoes- You’re high-maintenance and meticulous, but believe that the pay-off will be worth it (in the form of Instagram likes).
- Au Gratin- You love comfort food, but specifically the kind of comfort food that literally can only come from a box. (Seriously, when was the last time you saw someone make au gratin from scratch?)
- Dauphinoise- You’re that one person making au gratin from scratch, and you’re really annoying about it. We get it, you went to culinary school and own a mandolin, whatever.
- Hash Browns/Home Fries- You’ve spent one too many night in an all-night diner of some sort. Let’s face it, any form of breakfast potato is probably going to be the saddest part of breakfast.
- Potato Skins- You want the best of both worlds with this cross between fries and a loaded baked potato. Or, you have a frugal, waste-not-want-not approach and want to use every part of the potato. Unless we’re talking about TGI Friday’s new potato skins, which spit in the face of all of that.
