Folks, I know I’ve talked quite a bit about the lengths that companies will go to to generate buzz in the wake of the decline of traditional advertising. Popeye’s and Chick-fil-A have their Twitter feud, IHOP did that whole IHOb thing, and now…
Planters has murdered Mr. Peanut in cold blood.
He died sacrificing himself for his apparent best friends, Wesley Snipes (who, after a quick wikipedia check, is best known for committing the internet’s favorite crime, tax evasion) and Matt Walsh (who, after a quick wikipedia check, ain’t shit) after a freak accident involving the Nutmobile.
And in typical Twitter fashion, every brand imaginable tried to jump on this bandwagon.
Just about every alcohol brand had some variation of “pouring one out,” although few actually dedicated themselves to actually depict the act of pouring out one of their drinks.
Some were… hornier than others…
Even the gamers are paying their respects.
(which may or may not have gone over their heads)
Although few were willing to stand up and call him out for the class traitor that he truly was.
Weird tweets aside, we have to ask ourselves: What does Planters have in store next? Sure, the Mr. Peanut design was outdated, a bit bourgie, and deserved to be thrown off a cliff. But, many have pointed out that this development comes right before Super Bowl season, the high-water mark of batshit advertising. The fact that this wasn’t Planters’ Super Bowl ad means they have to have something bigger in store.
Is a scarred Mr. Peanut going to rise from the charred wreck of the Nutmobile, top hat and spats burned away, rejecting his former opulence?
Are we going to be introduced to Mr. Peanut’s hip, Gen Z offspring, who will usher in a new era of peanuts being cool with the kids again? (Bonus points if they try to lean in super hard to the Gen Z thing with any sort of hints of things Black Lives Matter or LGBT rep that sends people into rants about SJWs ruining everything.)
Is it going to cut to a shot of Mr Peanut on the operating table, and the only way to save him is to turn him into Planter’s’ new line of Peanut Milk?
Or, in light of recently revealed information stating that Planters’ Super Bowl commercial will be of Mr. Peanut’s funeral, can we expect to see Mr. Peanut, blurry in the background, visiting his own funeral?
Honestly whatever it ends up being, it’ll probably be a little underwhelming, but I for one can’t wait to figure out what the fuck is going on.
UPDATE: 2/3
So the Super Bowl’s come and gone, which means we finally have our answer. And none (well, I guess the Gen Z option got sorta close…) of my predictions came anywhere close to what happened.
Despite the slew of celebrity deaths over the past few weeks (most infamously Kobe Bryant), Planters went ahead and continued with their Mr. Peanut funeral. In attendance were Wesley Snipes, Matt Walsh, presumably some other celebrities I don’t recognize, and also Mr. Clean and the Kool-Aid Man. As the Kool-Aid Man sheds a magical tear on Mr. Peanut’s grave, a magical peanut plant sprouts up and-
Baby Yoda Peanut.
I take back what I said about this probably being underwhelming. I honestly can’t tell where the obvious cash-in on Baby Yoda’s popularity induced ironic enjoyment stops and the genuine hilarity starts. The baby-babbling-turned-dolphin-noises is especially funny, but I can’t tell if I’m laughing with them or at them.
Further evidence the ruling elite = pedos?
Is anyone buying the “Baby Nut” (cringe) merchandise? https://shopbabynut.com/
Seems like yes, there’d be some research into demand before putting the effort into the site but… who knows.
The only thing for certain is that anyone seen wearing “Baby Nut” merchandise should be shamed.
Considering most of the growing response online is either pure bewilderment or outright disgust, I really don’t think people are rushing out to buy Baby Nut™ merch.