
Ah, Halloween. Is there any holiday more filled with pure delight? Not weighed down with underlying puritanical morals, just unadulterated Baphometic indulgence. Give in to temptation, commune with the night, partake in hedonistic abundance. Live deliciously.
Er, I mean, yay, candy and costumes.
But really though, with the exception of “what do you want for Christmas,” I can’t think of any holiday-related query more feared than “what are you gonna be for Halloween?” There’s so much pressure to pick something unique and memorable, even if you’re just planning a cozy night in. Last year had plenty of people doing painfully topical 2020 costumes, such as airborne viral particulates to sexy hand sanitizer. But I think we can all agree that we’re doing our best this year to not dwell on the deadly virus that is very much still here, but still want equally timely costumes. And while the obvious pinnacle of 2021 costumes would be the Evergiven (I can see it now, a party with at least 10 people dressed as the freighter, making it impossible to get from one place to another, just as she would have wanted), this is still a food blog. Also, by the time this goes up, we’ll have less than one week left til the day itself. So, without further ado, here’s the most unique AND low effort 2021 food-related Halloween costumes that I (and my friends, who suggested a couple of the ideas here) could come up with. And don’t worry, all of these can be dressed up with fishnets to become “Sexy [insert costume here].”
(Also, yes, the pictures don’t 100% match the description I provide for how to make the costume. Look, I’ll make 6 different cursed pasta dishes for one of these posts, but these kinds of crafts are a bit out of my wheelhouse, so you’re gonna have to put up with my photoshop jobs.)
Boba Tea

Remember when we had that boba shortage a few months back? No? Well, at least the costume works on its own without the less-than-topical reference. While I did see a number of different boba costumes in my searches for inspiration for this piece the easiest AND most on-brand for my flavor of bullshit would be to inflate several small, black balloons and tape them to a brown T-shirt. For bonus points, wrap the cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels in a brightly-colored piece of construction paper to make a straw that you can stick… somewhere.
Pumpkin Skeleton

One of my favorite parts of the Halloween season is looking at all the hokey decorations that flood the market. And, in recent years, there’s been a growing niche of skeletal versions of already spooky things, often in ways that don’t resemble the actual anatomy of the creature involved. The most egregious/ most logical evolution of this fad being, of course, pumpkins. Simply make a skeletal cage of paper mache (or, for a pricier but easier alternative, you could buy bones (uhh… plastic ones… definitely not real ones…)) and a matching stem hat. Be prepared for a night of convincing people that they’re the weird ones for not getting it, not you.
Dalgona

2020 was the year of dalgona coffee, and now we’ve come full-circle with 2021 being the year of dalgona, due to its prominence in the hit show Squid Game. While plenty of people have been tearing thrift stores apart in search for green tracksuits and pink body morph suits, stand out from the rest of the crowd by dressing up as the equally iconic honeycomb candy. You can make one by either sandwiching yourself between 2 round pieces of cardboard with a design drawn on the front, or by taking an already existing round costume (google “quarter Halloween costume, for example) and re-covering it in tan felt (with scraps of fabric to make up the design). Only downside is that if you see a person in a green tracksuit, you are legally obligated to let them lick you.
Compost Bin and Dumpster

If you’re the kind of person who loves to make a political statement with your Halloween costume and have a significant other who does too (you’re perfect for each other, you insufferable assholes <3), try this matching empty compost bin and full garbage can to really make a statement about our relationship with food waste. I was originally going to say you could wear real garbage cans with holes cut out of the bottoms for your legs, but I feel like that would seem kind of tonedeaf given the message about wastefulness, so just do painted cardboard boxes instead. You have to fill the garbage can with real rotting food, though. That’s the only way to really send the message.
Also, if your couple has a 3rd wheel you can’t get rid of or you’re in a polycule, dress them up like a raccoon, possum, or other trash animal.
I lol’d. Giving the people what they want