Absent-mindedly scrolling through Twitter, I saw a listicle claiming to be the best gifts to give to children who are eager to learn how to cook.  My first thoughts upon seeing this were a.) oh shit, it’s not even Halloween (at the time of writing this) and we’re already Christmas shopping? and b.) ugh, I thought I unfollowed Bon Appetit, why are they on my timeline? 

Much like the author of the piece, I too spent a good deal of my childhood begging for an Easy-Bake Oven- oblivious to how poorly they really work and of how much of a rip-off the refill packs are- and am dumbfounded by how mature the equivalent offerings for today’s children are in comparison.  I wasn’t allowed to make Easy-Mac by myself until I was 10, the fact that there are children out there doing some of the things on this list blows my mind. I mean, sure, maybe the children of Bon Appetit employees can be expected to be slightly more culinarily-skilled that the average child, but just how good of an idea is it to give kids these kinds of things? 

Also, I’m short on time this week, and making fun of listicles is quick and easy.  So let’s make fun of some things!

On one hand, I can appreciate that kids like to dress the part.  On the other hand, I feel like I’ve never seen a home cook in real life wear an apron. On the other OTHER hand, these kids could be watching a lot of be-aproned YouTubers, so that could be swaying their opinion of aprons.  I can’t help but feel like BA’s choice for “Inspired by African Prints” aprons is them trying to be all “no really guys, we’re not racist anymore!”

What kind of bougie-ass kid has their own ice cream maker? smh my head  

Ok, discourse on whether or not anyone would want to eat a poop-shaped cookie, these kinds of overly-detailed cookie cutters are notorious for not retaining their shape as they bake.  Unless you’re trying to teach a child a lesson in how to curb their expectations to minimize disappointments, don’t get them this.

Yeah man. Baby tongs. 

What.  What? I mean… What? 

God, I love the glazed look in their unfocused eyes.  They’re just as confused as I am.

On one hand, I appreciate the idea behind teaching children how to appreciate what spices are and why we use them, and I have previously gone on the record as saying bundling cookbooks and the spices featured in them together is a great gift idea.  But I’m not entirely sure what a child is supposed to do with whole mustard seeds.  Maybe I need to buy the book to find out.  

All potential for crass comments aside (the post is for the CHILDREN), I’m pretty sure your kid doesn’t necessarily need to be a gourmand for this one.

Considering much of this list is framed around “kids want to get into cooking because it makes them feel more grown-up,” a cookbook of simple recipes written by a teen feels like a great way to bridge that gap. 

I… really don’t think giving a child a cast iron skillet is such a great idea. Like, sure, I can get the idea of how a small, lightweight pan won’t stay put on the stove and could lead to burns, but I feel like the risk of them dropping a full-weight cast iron skillet on their foot is just as bad if not worse.  Also, don’t buy your kid a $150 Le Creuset, just get like a $10 Lodge.

You really think kids can make raindrop cakes?  I don’t think I could make a raindrop cake.  And as far as I know, they don’t really taste like much, which makes me feel like most kids would be disappointed after the spectacle of it wears off.

Normally I hate these kinds of unitaskers that are just gonna sit around taking up space.  But I can imagine this is probably both healthier than taking the kids to Dunkin and safer than giving them a deep fryer, so like, I guess I can give it a pass this time.  

Oh HELL yeah! Tacosaurus Rex!

Much like with the cast iron skillet, there’s this weird, doting mother in me that thinks giving a kid a knife isn’t a GREAT idea.  But, like, I guess for a more experienced child chef it’s not that big of a deal.  I still can’t help but picture that one Vine of a kid running around with a knife though.

This might be the single item on this list that I have the biggest gripe with.  In my experience, gingerbread dough is a very stiff dough, so I don’t really think the mold is a.) necessary, because the dough will hold the shape that you cut it into as it bakes, or b.) something that would really work well unless you really cram it in there.  The reviews seem favorable, sure, but even if it does work you’re only gonna use it once a year.

My only problem with this is the insistence that these are “just like grandma’s.”  Is there a new, cool generation of grandmas rockin tats that I don’t know about?

Uhh it’s fancy sprinkles.  Sure, why not. Kind of an underwhelming way to end the list.  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may also like