Now that we’re well past the halfway point of Dry January, I can’t help but look back at some of my previous creations and think, “you tried too hard to make them actually good, get back to your roots and make something genuinely upsetting.”

So this week, we’re making chocolate milk and orange juice.

Specifically, freshly squeezed clementine juice.  And oat milk.  The former, because I figured it would be a mellower orange flavor while also yielding a relatively high amount of juice per orange.  The latter, because it was what I happened to have in the fridge.  I can’t promise that store bought orange juice and regular dairy milk won’t curdle when combined. But I also can’t promise that it will, so proceed with caution.  Also, I feel the need to point out that my original recipe for chocolate sauce also had semi-sweet chocolate chips melted into it, but these somehow seemed to reharden after cooling (they absolutely didn’t just not melt all the way, that can’t be it) so I omitted them from the recipe below.  

The end result?  It’s… a lot like drinking a Terry’s Chocolate Orange?  Again, the clementine juice helps keep it from being as harsh as it could have been.  And, maybe I was just in one of those moods where a glass of chocolate milk (-adjacent beverage) really hits.  It technically tastes good, but there’s some kind of mental disconnect re: the milk and orange juice together.   

If you’re brave enough to try it for yourself, go right ahead.  And if you don’t quite feel like taking the final step with the orange juice, you can still use the chocolate sauce portion of the recipe for normal, not cursed chocolate milk or other chocolate sauce applications.

The Recipe

3/4 cup cocoa powder

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp instant coffee

1 pinch salt

Combine all in a small saucepan.  Bring to a simmer, then reduce until slightly thickened, then cool (it will thicken even further once cooled).  

OK, there’s the chocolate sauce recipe… It’s… not too late to turn back.  No? Ok…

3 oz (clementine) orange juice

3 oz (oat) milk

1 oz chocolate syrup

Combine juice, milk, and syrup in a cocktail shaker, shake well.  (Of all the times I’ve specified to use a cocktail shaker, this time I really do mean it, since the chocolate sauce takes a little more agitation to dissolve into the rest of the liquids).  Do NOT serve over ice.  It’s chocolate milk, whats wrong with you.  Garnish with orange peel twist, and, if you’re feeling really bold, a dalgona coffee foam (which I somehow botched but didn’t feel like fixing).

Only 1 Mocktail Monday left…. If I can pull off what I have planned, it’s gonna be a doozy.  

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